Need Some Space in Your Relationship? Here's How You Can Get It

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Do you feel "crowded" in your relationship? How much space should you really need? That depends on the type of relationship you have with your significant other, and the two people in your relationship. Some people do better when they're together all the time, and other people want "space" even if they're in a relationship.

It can be difficult to find a good compromise that both people are happy with. This can be difficult if you each have very different feelings about just what is good about "togetherness" or "solitude." The key to finding a solution is to compromise on what each of you needs in a relationship in this regard, which will help you work through the challenge.

People's "space" needs differ. Some people don't like to be alone at all, and would rather spend all of their time around people -- family, friends, coworkers, their significant others. When they are alone, they feel a little lonely, a little lost.

On the other hand, there are those who really like their time alone. If they don't get some time by themselves every day, they can't relax and maybe even feel burdened. They may feel like they always have to be "on" or "up" in order to be around other people, which can be exhausting.

Of course, these are the two extremes when it comes to solitude versus "togetherness," but there are still other people who strike a balance between the two somewhere. They love to spend time together with partners, and they also want some time completely alone.

If both of you are within that happy medium, where each of you needs some "alone" time and some "together" time, that's great. You should be able to work out things pretty easily. By the same token, if each of you needs to spend time with people "always," or if each of you needs to spend a lot of time alone, that's also going to be pretty easy to figure out.

However, it can be a problem if one of you is a "people" person, and one of you needs to spend a lot of time alone. For example, if one of you is very social and one of you likes to spend a lot of time alone, you'll need to be able to talk to each other and work out a compromise whereby each of you gets what you need. Each of you will need to understand what the other wants so that you can come up with a compromise that will allow both of you to feel comfortable.

For example, if you really need to be alone for at least some of every day, but your partner wants company all the time, around the clock, that can be a problem. If you simply wander off on your own when you need space, but you don't say anything, your partner may very well feel neglected and think you don't want to be around him or her because you don't like his or her company.

Similarly, if you hate to be alone and your partner really wants to spend some time alone, if you hang around constantly, your partner can begin to feel smothered. It may also feel like a "you don't trust me" situation, since you won't give your partner private time; this could very well inaccurately be taken as a situation whereby your afraid of what your partner is doing when you're not around.

You can see that each of these situations could cause significant problems in a relationship. However, if you talk to each other with honesty and openness about how you feel, you should be able to have your solitude with your partners understanding.

And if your partner is someone who would rather hang around all the time when you'd rather be alone, simply realize that he or she doesn't need the kind of space you do in a relationship.


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Source by Ricardo D Argence
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