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If you've ever been torn down by someone, your self-confidence can take a nose dive faster than an airplane that's out of control. It's possible to get your self-confidence back, but you must do some 'inner' work. How did you attract someone who treated you badly? How do you really feel about you? Do you think you deserve love and respect? Asking yourself these and other questions will help you get to the 'root' cause as to why you'd allow someone to treat you badly. Once you do the 'inner' work, you can begin to get you self-confidence back.
How to Get Your Self Confidence Back After Being Torn Down
Journal your feelings. Not facing your feelings is worse than facing them. Instead of dealing with your feelings, you may stuff them with drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, food, and other addictions. Buy a couple of journals and write until you can't write no more. Get all of your feelings out of your system. When you're ready, take a deep breath and read what you wrote. It will be cathartic and painful at the same time but at least you'll face your feelings and will be able to heal yourself.
Realize that most people are insecure. Anyone that has the need to tear you or someone else down has major self-esteem issues. Send that person that tore you down lots of love and move forward with your life. Forgive them because they didn't know what they were doing. Forgiveness doesn't mean exonerating the person for treating you badly, it means you release your from the person and situation.
Conduct the mirror exercise. Every day look in the mirror and say, "I love you." The more you say this, the more your self-confidence will return.
Enroll in a martial arts class. Not only will you lose weight and tone your body, you'll gain your self-confidence back. Martial arts classes are great for learning discipline. You'll find your inner strength and will begin to honor yourself more. The more you honor yourself the less likely you'll ever be torn down by another person. You'll also learn about trust, loyalty, and honor.
Hire a counselor and life coach. A counselor can help you analyze and get to the 'root' issue as to why you were torn down by someone. How did it happen? How confident were you as a person? When did your self-confidence diminish? How old were you? You'll be asked to go within to find the answers. Chances are you still have some issues to work out from your childhood. Most people do.
Hiring a life coach in conjunction with a counselor is a great way to move forward in your life. A counselor is usually about the past, whereas a life coach is about the present/future. They can work with you to help you regain your self-confidence by giving you solid information that will stay with you for the rest of your life. Make sure you find a coach that goes beyond giving you homework to do. This isn't coaching -- it's babysitting. You want a coach that will really work with you and hold you accountable. If you don't do the work, you won't regain your self-confidence back. You want a life coach that expects you to gain your self-confidence back. They'll give you the tools but it's up to you if you use them or not.
Enroll in a self-assertive or self-defense class. This is a great way to learn how to assert and protect yourself. You'll learn that 'shadow' dancing with someone isn't an option. You'll know how to handle someone who could potentially tear you down. You'll be able to recognize signs such as aggression, arrogance, passive/aggressive behavior, and other signs. You won't allow people to walk all over you. You'll show them who the boss is in your life and won't attract them into your life anymore!
Learning how to take down someone who's trying to harm you will boost your self-confidence. You'll save your life in more ways than one. You'll assert yourself and be able to get out of harm's way at the same time.
Enroll in a public speaking class. Most people are terrified of public speaking -- they'd rather face death! Public speaking is a great way to get your confidence back. If you can speak to 50 or more people while staying cool, calm, and collective, not only will you get your self-confidence back, but you'll have the respect of your fellow speakers.
No one has the right to tear another person down. If you allow this happens this means you don't honor and respect yourself. Find out why this is and get help to change it. Furthermore, anyone who tears another person down could use some help! Remember that everyone is important and no one is an 'extra' on planet earth. Allow no one to mistreat you and take your power back once and for all!
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Source by Amandah T. Blackwell
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